That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We named our party play list daddy issues
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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