I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
