I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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