I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
