All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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