well you can't waste a boner
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
