I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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