Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
