i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
