Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
