worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
