You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
