I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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