She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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