I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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