Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
