No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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