it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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