sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
