Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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