LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
