Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
