So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
