If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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