on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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