his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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