Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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