walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
