did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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