how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
time to smoke my breakfast
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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