ugly people sure do ruin things
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
