Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We have so much sex to catch up on
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
