i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
