Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
