I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
