People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
