I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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