Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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