i permit you to call me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
