WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
