You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
