Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
