batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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