I wish you could order shots online.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
