At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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