so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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