there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
hell yes lets make some ravioli
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
