Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
