Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just blew my weed a kiss
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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