I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
