I wish I could teleport
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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