Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
